(June 2017)
In this moment, I would like to meet a person who lives near me (94117) who could become at least a "Friend with Benefits/Tantra Partner" and ideally evolve into a committed (though not necessarily exclusive) life partner.
Partnership in a healing path, personally, for our communities, and the planet, would need to be a shared choice in order to move toward long-term partnership.
GOALS
At this time I am mostly looking to find super-compatible people with whom to build community and/or do co-creative collaborations, for example in cultural work for systemic improvement. If I meet people who become intimate friends or a life partner, that would be fine too . . .
FOR THE NEAR FUTURE I AM BUSY with earning a living, clearing a backlog of administrivia that accumulated in a previous busy spell, and figuring out where to go from here career-wise. That might include retiring and/or starting a new business.
In order to keep in balance, I prioritize healing and creative interactions in my time off from paid work.
I am very interested to meet new people who are TRULY in alignment.
PHOTOS
If you mouse-over my profile picture, you'll see some other pics that show different views of me, under photos are some of me at work..
RELATIONSHIP CONTEXT
I am part of a long-standing intimate network and community of people who share heart connections, sex and spirit. Many of us have known each other for two or more decades. Some members are married, some are not "partnered" in the usual sense. Each relationship is unique to the people involved (some are fluid-bonded, some are casual, all are careful about safer sex.)
My current relationships tend to be in the committed FWB realm;
I have been primary, and sometimes even monogamish for a while.
(In my younger days, I tried strict monogamy for 15 years but neither of us were really happy.)
Pretty much everyone in my intimate network knows everyone else and the emphasis is on open communication and open, stable, and flexible relationships. Community is a key container. Most of us live in California - North or South.
I expect to stay connected with my former FWB as at-least-a-friend for this lifetime, but what shape our relationship can take will depend upon many presently-unknowable factors. She is currently travelling with an evolving schedule. Our friendship is our baseline commitment. That is how I approach most emotional relationships. I prefer to work with people who can also be friends.
VISION for CO-CREATIVE CULTURAL WORK
While I need to work for a living and follow my political/artistic calling (and expect to support you to do the same);
I would prefer to do it WITH a primary, committed, life-partnerwith whom I share sufficient alignment to keep growing together for the rest of this lifetime.
Dismantling oppression and systemic mis-leadership, supporting the persistence and growth of wisdom cultures are key interests of mine.
Growing a deep, transparent, sustainable partnership requires focus and commitment. I'm feeling ready for that with the "right" person.
Balance with other relationships and communities in our lives is a required discussion, probably ongoing as we navigate the chaos of the foreseeable future. Whether anyone presently in my circles will turn out to be "right" for the political/cultural work I want to do remains to be seen. Hence, I am staying open to meeting new people who might be in more complete alignment.
PRESENT WORK SCHEDULE is variable, unpredictable . . . frequently demanding. (I just finished working 90+ hours in 8 days. I'm taking time off to recuperate.)
The intensity of my work varies seasonally. I sometimes have space in my schedule for new people who could become practice partners, friends, even lovers or a new life partner, though probably not quickly or easily for the latter.
One kind of relationship MIGHT grow into another - but need not. This month is already booked solid, but in the next few months I expect to have windows of "down-time" to meet new people and explore new possibilities.
ACTIVITY PARTNERS
If we're aligned as activity partners and can find the time windows, I would enjoy sharing any or all of these
EASIER FIRST: Hiking, movies, cooking together, dancing, artevents, activist political participation, conversation about topics that matter to us. Supporting each other by reviewing each other'swriting projects is also a possibility.
Massage exchange partners - especially BREEMA, Tantsu and the like.
Also, eclectic peer counseling - CCI, RC, Focusing, dreambody process work, your preference? - with lots of room for bioenergetic release.
Hugging & Humming, hot tubbing, talking about things that fascinate, puzzle, and/or delight us, sharing moments of rich, resonant silent Presence.
Conversations combined WITH horizontal hugging, whether chastecuddling or sensual snuggling are all the better. My interests range widely, ideally yours would too.
LONGER TERM: a rest-of-life everything partner, including living overseas while making "culture-healing media". Caring deeply about people and being interested in different cultures and understanding systemically what is stuck and what can move are HUGE pluses in this department. More about this later.
YOU ARE A GOLDEN NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK
I'm using this innovative online system partly because I know HOW UNUSUAL the people are who can cope, much less flourish, with this sort of 'relationship ecology' in which I move. If you think you might be one of them, please get in touch. If not, bless you and good luck in finding what YOU want and need.
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP PREFERENCES
I believe in conscious relationship; fun and also growthful.
I enjoy practicing Tantra and Taoist Yoga and want to share this kind of communion with a partner. If you don't know about this already but are open to learning, I am happy to teach IF you are "the right person" on all other accounts. One of favorite my pastimes is wide-open ecstatic communion, in "deep synchrony" or mutual entrainment; ie. neurons mirroring neurons to infinity.
I am strongly GGG, welcoming creativity and kink. I am cautious about addictions. If we seem to be on the right wavelength, you can ask me for my FetLife handle.
RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Having agreement on and shared commitment to some communication and problem-solving framework seems prudent, so that misunderstandings and upsets - which are inevitable in any close and daring relationship - do not become ongoing obstacles, rather can be used cooperatively toward our healing, learning, and growth. Having a commitment to an "amends andforgiveness" process seems vital to me. This kind of sharing is what gives loyalty its legs.
This is one of the gateways and requirements for a more committed relationship with me.
Compassionate communication/NVC and PNDC - Powerful NonDefensive Communication could be a useful starting points with me AND I am really interested to hear what has worked for you.
Some form of cooperative peer counseling or co-counseling can be a big help with expressing emotions, creating the compassionate space in which to explore our inner worlds, hearing each other and ourselves deeply as we explore new ground, find ways to release old traumas and baggage, and find ways to be more and more "ourselves", and realize our highest potentials.
I believe in allowing relationships to grow and change as we grow and change. I try to keep and nurture what is good and timely and let the rest go.
LOVE LANGUAGES
I believe in loyalty and mutual aid, and in good boundaries and even tough love if/when needed. Aware Physical Touch andQuality Time are my two favorite "Love Languages" and I happily give and receive ALL of them, ie. Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and Thoughtful Gifts.
In practice, I tend to share my intimate time with relatively few people in any given year within a framework of ethical open relationship. I have experience with monogamy (net 18 years, including 15 in one run) and polyamory (net 26 years) and at this point am more concerned with "what works-for-all" than in ideology.
So far, the primary relationships I've fared best with have been with bright, strong, independent women who were able to shift back and forth across the friend/lover zone as our lives shift geographically and socially. I am bi-friendly and have had my most satisfying relationships with women who were also at least bi-friendly. I have also had successful secondary (whether sexual or not) relationships with women and men whose partners were inclusive.
The way this works for me is that we are pretty open and honest with each other so we are clear where we stand emotionally and socially, careful about safer sex, getting tested as needed, and scrupulously honest about any slips or activities that could pose risks.
I am open to exploring whatever sexual practices work for you, or that you want to explore. I have training and some experience in an intimate mindfulness practice called OM or Orgasmic Meditation as defined by One Taste. This can be a safe, drama-free way of sharing quite intimately. It can be complete and bounded in itself with no strings or other expectations.
I'm also open to exploring all sorts of other approaches to intimacy, such as Marnia Robinson's PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS. I have two friends who mostly want an arousing, clothes-on romp with lots of massage, heavy breathing and joyful noise and circulating of energy but no penetration of any kind and no release of fluids. With multiple honest partners no one has to do anything they don't want to and people can usually get their needs and desires met.
I am also oriented toward intimate healing partnerships in which the time we spend together has Presence as a key value and we can take turns holding space for each other's explorations andhealing . . . including sexual healing and inner journeys and inner exploration. This can be a delicate, disciplined, ecstatic dance ofdevotion, respect, cooperation and Tantra.
Having some familiarity with Buddhist, Taoist, and/or Sufi practice will be helpful . . . though not required. Openness of mind and heart are the ground on which we walk.
If you have alignment on even some of these points, I'd love to hear from you.
Soon you'll be able to see an edited version of this essay at:https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3854799457517283392#editor/target=post;postID=8027909527157679318
I am Present, Appreciative, and Playful
In this moment, I would like to meet a person who lives near me (94117) who could become at least a "Friend with Benefits/Tantra Partner" and ideally evolve into a committed (though not necessarily exclusive) life partner.
Partnership in a healing path, personally, for our communities, and the planet, would need to be a shared choice in order to move toward long-term partnership.
GOALS
At this time I am mostly looking to find super-compatible people with whom to build community and/or do co-creative collaborations, for example in cultural work for systemic improvement. If I meet people who become intimate friends or a life partner, that would be fine too . . .
FOR THE NEAR FUTURE I AM BUSY with earning a living, clearing a backlog of administrivia that accumulated in a previous busy spell, and figuring out where to go from here career-wise. That might include retiring and/or starting a new business.
In order to keep in balance, I prioritize healing and creative interactions in my time off from paid work.
I am very interested to meet new people who are TRULY in alignment.
PHOTOS
If you mouse-over my profile picture, you'll see some other pics that show different views of me, under photos are some of me at work..
RELATIONSHIP CONTEXT
I am part of a long-standing intimate network and community of people who share heart connections, sex and spirit. Many of us have known each other for two or more decades. Some members are married, some are not "partnered" in the usual sense. Each relationship is unique to the people involved (some are fluid-bonded, some are casual, all are careful about safer sex.)
My current relationships tend to be in the committed FWB realm;
I have been primary, and sometimes even monogamish for a while.
(In my younger days, I tried strict monogamy for 15 years but neither of us were really happy.)
Pretty much everyone in my intimate network knows everyone else and the emphasis is on open communication and open, stable, and flexible relationships. Community is a key container. Most of us live in California - North or South.
I expect to stay connected with my former FWB as at-least-a-friend for this lifetime, but what shape our relationship can take will depend upon many presently-unknowable factors. She is currently travelling with an evolving schedule. Our friendship is our baseline commitment. That is how I approach most emotional relationships. I prefer to work with people who can also be friends.
VISION for CO-CREATIVE CULTURAL WORK
While I need to work for a living and follow my political/artistic calling (and expect to support you to do the same);
I would prefer to do it WITH a primary, committed, life-partnerwith whom I share sufficient alignment to keep growing together for the rest of this lifetime.
Dismantling oppression and systemic mis-leadership, supporting the persistence and growth of wisdom cultures are key interests of mine.
Growing a deep, transparent, sustainable partnership requires focus and commitment. I'm feeling ready for that with the "right" person.
Balance with other relationships and communities in our lives is a required discussion, probably ongoing as we navigate the chaos of the foreseeable future. Whether anyone presently in my circles will turn out to be "right" for the political/cultural work I want to do remains to be seen. Hence, I am staying open to meeting new people who might be in more complete alignment.
PRESENT WORK SCHEDULE is variable, unpredictable . . . frequently demanding. (I just finished working 90+ hours in 8 days. I'm taking time off to recuperate.)
The intensity of my work varies seasonally. I sometimes have space in my schedule for new people who could become practice partners, friends, even lovers or a new life partner, though probably not quickly or easily for the latter.
One kind of relationship MIGHT grow into another - but need not. This month is already booked solid, but in the next few months I expect to have windows of "down-time" to meet new people and explore new possibilities.
ACTIVITY PARTNERS
If we're aligned as activity partners and can find the time windows, I would enjoy sharing any or all of these
EASIER FIRST: Hiking, movies, cooking together, dancing, artevents, activist political participation, conversation about topics that matter to us. Supporting each other by reviewing each other'swriting projects is also a possibility.
Massage exchange partners - especially BREEMA, Tantsu and the like.
Also, eclectic peer counseling - CCI, RC, Focusing, dreambody process work, your preference? - with lots of room for bioenergetic release.
Hugging & Humming, hot tubbing, talking about things that fascinate, puzzle, and/or delight us, sharing moments of rich, resonant silent Presence.
Conversations combined WITH horizontal hugging, whether chastecuddling or sensual snuggling are all the better. My interests range widely, ideally yours would too.
LONGER TERM: a rest-of-life everything partner, including living overseas while making "culture-healing media". Caring deeply about people and being interested in different cultures and understanding systemically what is stuck and what can move are HUGE pluses in this department. More about this later.
YOU ARE A GOLDEN NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK
I'm using this innovative online system partly because I know HOW UNUSUAL the people are who can cope, much less flourish, with this sort of 'relationship ecology' in which I move. If you think you might be one of them, please get in touch. If not, bless you and good luck in finding what YOU want and need.
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP PREFERENCES
I believe in conscious relationship; fun and also growthful.
I enjoy practicing Tantra and Taoist Yoga and want to share this kind of communion with a partner. If you don't know about this already but are open to learning, I am happy to teach IF you are "the right person" on all other accounts. One of favorite my pastimes is wide-open ecstatic communion, in "deep synchrony" or mutual entrainment; ie. neurons mirroring neurons to infinity.
I am strongly GGG, welcoming creativity and kink. I am cautious about addictions. If we seem to be on the right wavelength, you can ask me for my FetLife handle.
RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Having agreement on and shared commitment to some communication and problem-solving framework seems prudent, so that misunderstandings and upsets - which are inevitable in any close and daring relationship - do not become ongoing obstacles, rather can be used cooperatively toward our healing, learning, and growth. Having a commitment to an "amends andforgiveness" process seems vital to me. This kind of sharing is what gives loyalty its legs.
This is one of the gateways and requirements for a more committed relationship with me.
Compassionate communication/NVC and PNDC - Powerful NonDefensive Communication could be a useful starting points with me AND I am really interested to hear what has worked for you.
Some form of cooperative peer counseling or co-counseling can be a big help with expressing emotions, creating the compassionate space in which to explore our inner worlds, hearing each other and ourselves deeply as we explore new ground, find ways to release old traumas and baggage, and find ways to be more and more "ourselves", and realize our highest potentials.
I believe in allowing relationships to grow and change as we grow and change. I try to keep and nurture what is good and timely and let the rest go.
LOVE LANGUAGES
I believe in loyalty and mutual aid, and in good boundaries and even tough love if/when needed. Aware Physical Touch andQuality Time are my two favorite "Love Languages" and I happily give and receive ALL of them, ie. Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and Thoughtful Gifts.
In practice, I tend to share my intimate time with relatively few people in any given year within a framework of ethical open relationship. I have experience with monogamy (net 18 years, including 15 in one run) and polyamory (net 26 years) and at this point am more concerned with "what works-for-all" than in ideology.
So far, the primary relationships I've fared best with have been with bright, strong, independent women who were able to shift back and forth across the friend/lover zone as our lives shift geographically and socially. I am bi-friendly and have had my most satisfying relationships with women who were also at least bi-friendly. I have also had successful secondary (whether sexual or not) relationships with women and men whose partners were inclusive.
The way this works for me is that we are pretty open and honest with each other so we are clear where we stand emotionally and socially, careful about safer sex, getting tested as needed, and scrupulously honest about any slips or activities that could pose risks.
I am open to exploring whatever sexual practices work for you, or that you want to explore. I have training and some experience in an intimate mindfulness practice called OM or Orgasmic Meditation as defined by One Taste. This can be a safe, drama-free way of sharing quite intimately. It can be complete and bounded in itself with no strings or other expectations.
I'm also open to exploring all sorts of other approaches to intimacy, such as Marnia Robinson's PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS. I have two friends who mostly want an arousing, clothes-on romp with lots of massage, heavy breathing and joyful noise and circulating of energy but no penetration of any kind and no release of fluids. With multiple honest partners no one has to do anything they don't want to and people can usually get their needs and desires met.
I am also oriented toward intimate healing partnerships in which the time we spend together has Presence as a key value and we can take turns holding space for each other's explorations andhealing . . . including sexual healing and inner journeys and inner exploration. This can be a delicate, disciplined, ecstatic dance ofdevotion, respect, cooperation and Tantra.
Having some familiarity with Buddhist, Taoist, and/or Sufi practice will be helpful . . . though not required. Openness of mind and heart are the ground on which we walk.
If you have alignment on even some of these points, I'd love to hear from you.
Soon you'll be able to see an edited version of this essay at:https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3854799457517283392#editor/target=post;postID=8027909527157679318
I am Present, Appreciative, and Playful
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